But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I'm like, not good at living.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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