I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Its about making memories worth repressing
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Randomize
