There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Randomize
