i just had sex bonerless
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
