I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
