On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize