they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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