I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
You can't just leave with hair like that
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
