Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
