I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
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