Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
When are your genitals available?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
