I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
my liver is dry heaving
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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