Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
