Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize