Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
