Christians are straight up FREAKS
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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