dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Randomize
