Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize