I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize
