went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
