I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
