Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
