can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
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Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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