He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Randomize
