A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
