this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
