Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize