i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
