I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
