I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Randomize
