ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
