shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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