my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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