In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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