i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
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If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
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Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
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