he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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