So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
