Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
