3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
This baby is an asshole
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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