ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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