she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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