Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
