how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
