so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
