At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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