I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
