you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
