did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
