You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
