Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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