Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
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My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
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All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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