So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
