I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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