I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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