I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
