Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
