I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
