Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
