You're completely useless in the revolution.
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Randomize
