I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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