i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
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