I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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