I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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