This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
time to smoke my breakfast
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
