No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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